Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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