OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
