I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
