well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
