I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
