I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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