Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Randomize
