Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
