Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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