She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
