I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
