That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
