why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Randomize
