Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
