It's Friday. Sex?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
