For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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