i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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