I cockslap morals
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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