Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
