3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
