garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
