Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
