Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
