Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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