We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
