I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
