I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
