Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I need moral support for this bender
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
