you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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