why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
