ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize