Will you blow on my dice?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
