Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
