I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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