There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
