I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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