Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So many bounce houses so little time
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
