sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
