with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
This toilet bowl is my home.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
