My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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