yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
