This girl is more easily done than said...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
