i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Is it because I queefed?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
