his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
