These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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