I love black thongs
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
