yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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