You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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