you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
