she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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