I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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