I'm gonna have a badass scar
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
