We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
